


hold me closer

by splinterfranxx



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: All I Want for Christmas is Cloti, Cloud is Sad, F/M, Final Heaven Secret Santa 2020, Gift for the Wonderful Kotaface, They Hug a Lot, Tifa is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28274661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splinterfranxx/pseuds/splinterfranxx
Summary: They're broken, fundamentally, yet can always find home in each other's arms.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	hold me closer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kotaface (aveyune23)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aveyune23/gifts).



> This was written for the Final Heaven Secret Santa Exchange for kotaface!

The first time had been back in Nibelheim, when Cloud and Tifa were just children. The vivacious May air seemed to breathe life itself into Tifa, as her smile continued to grow with each and every Nibelheim resident that wished her a happy birthday.

She was 8 now, not that Cloud was counting.

“Cloud, what are you doing?” The voice of Claudia Strife cut through Cloud’s thought process as he tore his gaze from the window.

“Nothing, mom.”

“Sure. ‘Nothing,’” Claudia replied, hands moving to form air quotes. “I see you looking at Tifa. Why don’t you go give her the birthday present you got her?”

“I just-- There are so many--”

“Listen, Cloud. Tifa won’t know how much you care about her unless you tell her, which will involve you facing your fears and putting yourself out there.”

Cloud stayed silent, eyes trained on the ground. His mother always seemed to know exactly what was bothering him.

“But, just think of how her eyes will light up when you give her your present. That should make it all worth it, right?”

“Yeah, it would.” Cloud gripped the wrapped gift tighter in his hands like a lifeline, trying to ground himself. You can do this.

“Then get out there!” Claudia announced jovially, flinging the door open. Cloud slowly shifted across the threshold, eyes darting between the individual members of Tifa’s friends as they took notice of his arrival. 

The other boys, all vying for her attention, had formed a circle around her, and Cloud’s shoulders tensed as he realized he would have to walk through them to get to Tifa. Great. Nevertheless, he walked closer and closer to his goal, ignoring the judgemental looks and snickers of the other kids.

“Hey, is that Cloud?”

“Yeah, it is! I’d recognize that dumb head of hair anywhere.”

“What a loser.”

“Cloud!” One voice cut through the rest.  
Cloud looked forward just in time to see Tifa running towards him, a beaming smile on her face. Later in life, Cloud would realize that smile wasn’t just because it was her birthday — that specific smile was reserved just for him.

“I got-- I got a present for you, Tifa. Here.” Cloud looked away, feigning aloofness while trying to hide the fierce blush on his face.

“Thank you so much Cloud!” Tifa lunged forward, wrapping her arms around the blonde-haired boy. Cloud stiffened, unsure how to react to the sudden contact from none other than Tifa. 

It was over as soon as it began, yet Cloud found himself longing to feel her arms around him again.

_

The second time came as a tearful goodbye; the moon reflecting its contemplative visage upon Tifa’s tear-marked face.

When Cloud had called her to the Nibelheim water tower in the dead of night, determination marring his features, Tifa wasn’t sure what to expect. Deep down, however, she knew he was telling her his intent to leave. After all, all the boys had gone and done it before him.

“When spring comes, I’m leaving town and going to Midgar.” 

There it was, the admission that he was leaving her. The crisp fall air seemed to bite into Tifa, and she tried and failed to hide her disappointment. She had hoped, maybe, his news would be something completely different.

“Should’ve figured. All the guys are leaving.”

“B-but I’m not like them. I’m not going just to look for work. I’m going to be a SOLDIER,” Cloud’s face lit up as he spoke, likely imagining himself as the brave, strong fighter he was destined to be. “The best of the best. Like Sephiroth.”

“The great war hero, huh. Isn’t it pretty hard to become a SOLDIER?”

Cloud’s expression seemed to shift as he realized the gravity of the situation. “Yeah, so I won’t be back for a long time.”

“Guess not,” Tifa tried to keep her disappointment out of her voice. “Think you’ll be in the papers?”

“I’ll try.”

“Just...promise me one thing. When we’re older, and you’re a famous SOLDIER...if I’m ever trapped or in trouble...promise you’ll come in save me.”

Under the multicolored Nibelheim sky, a promise was made and sealed with a hug. Tifa clung to Cloud like a lifeline - trying, begging, pleading with him to stay even as her lips spoke well wishes and good lucks. While he returned her hug with warm friendliness, it seemed only the stars could hear Tifa’s silent plea.

As the sun began to peak over Mt. Nibel, Tifa knew it was time for her to leave. Her father would be furious if he ever found out about their secret meetings atop the water tower, fleeting and sparse as they might have been.

“Good luck in Midgar, Cloud. I know you can become a SOLDIER.” Tifa said, standing up.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah. Sun’s coming up. And you know how my dad would get if he found out I was talking to you.”

“Yeah. I do.” Cloud’s eyes fixated on the wood of the water tower he was currently perched on.

“I don’t know if I’ll see you again before you leave Cloud, so I just--” Tifa felt her words die in her throat.

“Just what, Tifa?”

“I’m going to miss you. Like, really going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too Tifa. But, I promise, I’ll become a SOLDIER you can be proud of.”

The second Tifa was behind closed doors, a cacophony of whimpers and sobs echoed around her.

_

The third came on the day of reckoning, as all that Cloud and Tifa ever held dear slowly burnt to a smoldering crisp.

“Sephiroth...SOLDIERs...Mako...Shinra...I’m sick of all of this!” Tifa wailed, clutching the deceased Brian Lockhart. Masamune sat clutched firmly in her right hand, her grip like a vice as she lamented the events of the past few hours.

Determination flaring in her soul, Tifa rose, Masamune trained on where she expected to find Sephiroth waiting. Eyes narrowing and face contorting into a snarl, Tifa’s only want at that moment was to drive Sephiroth’s own sword cleanly through his chest.

Charging at the rampaging SOLDIER, hatred flaring like explosions in her veins, Tifa readied her blade.

Tifa. Tifa. Tifa was there, crumpled on the ground; her body had come crashing back through the doorway like a ragdoll. Cloud found her unconscious, wounded, and broken -- slowly bleeding out from the poison of Sephiroth’s blade.

It hurt him, it pained him to leave her there when there was nothing else he would have rather been doing than scooping her in his arms, holding her, chasing the pain away with light touches and soft kisses. Later, Cloud. A particularly pained grunt from within the reactor from a voice he identified as Zack, as well as the unholy sound of metal scraping metal informed him his time with Tifa would have to be cut short.

He was barely able to dodge Zack flying through the air as he peered through the doorway, observing Sephiroth turn his attention to his “Mother,” or whatever he had called her. Zack’s Buster Sword lay sheathed in the metal of the walkway, like a trophy signifying Sephiroth’s victory over the SOLDIER First Class. That bastard killed my mom, hurt Zack, hurt Tifa...he has to pay. 

“It’s alright now, Mother.” Sephiroth muttered, addressing the horrific figure floating in a vat of Mako. 

The glass splintered.

“Return my mother...Tifa...and my village!” Cloud yelled, plunging the Buster Sword into Sephiroth’s torso. The silver-haired man crumpled, then sank to his knees, wounded.

“You...bastard.” Sephiroth spluttered, coughing up a bit of blood.

Without time to relish in his victory, a soft whine of pain from the outside caught his attention. Tifa had woken up.

“Tifa!” Cloud ran to where she laid on the ground, discarding his Shinra grunt helmet in the process. At the sight of him, Tifa’s eyes seemed to sparkle with even more brilliance, if that was even possible.

It felt so right to have her in his arms yet again, separated for two years by both physical and emotional distance. All of his fears about her finding out he never made it as a SOLDIER were cast aside as he bared his soul to her, finally able to truly reunite with her.

He brushed a strand of hair from her face and cupped her cheek as she stirred completely, carmine eyes interlocking and dancing with his ocean blue orbs. “Cloud...you came. You kept our promise.”

“Sorry, I was a bit late getting to you.”

“That’s alright, Cloud.” Tifa shot Cloud the biggest smile she could muster in her current state, and he returned it in kind.

Sephiroth came stumbling out of the reactor, down, but not out. Cloud’s face hardened, internally counting down the minutes until he could return to Tifa again. But, right now, there was a battle to be won.

_

The fourth came during a night kissed by sadness, as Tifa recounted the horrible tragedy that had befallen Sector 7.

It was almost poetic, Cloud thought, that he would be meeting her again under similarly dire circumstances to the Nibelheim incident. Fate was a fickle creature indeed.

Tifa looks absolutely breathtaking, in Cloud’s humble opinion, illuminated by the moon and framed by the Stargazer Lilies at her feet. The crestfallen expression on her face, however, makes his heart sink, though his mind kept close guard of his emotions. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

“No. You too?”

“I heard footsteps.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“I’m a light sleeper. It’s a SOLDIER thing.” 

Though their conversation would seem like nothing more than harmless chatter between friends to an outside observer, Cloud could almost feel the palpable tension in the air. Tifa had an unfamiliar, guarded feel to her, as if she was just barely trying to keep the floodgates from opening.

“That flower you gave me the other night. That was from Aerith, wasn’t it?” Cloud remained silent, searching her soul with his eyes. Though his features remained guarded, a part of himself deep within pleaded and petitioned him to comfort her. “I knew there was something weird going on. You, buying flowers.”

Sensing Cloud was going to let her speak, if you need to talk, I’m listening echoing in her head, she continued. “They symbolize reunion, believe it or not. I was curious, so I looked it up. I tried to keep it alive as long as I could.”

The floodgates opened, Tifa unraveled. “But now...it’s dead and buried. Like the bar...our home...and everything else.” Wet tears formed in the corners of Tifa’s carmine orbs, and Cloud was overcome with the urge to whisk her into his arms, to wipe her tears away, and to hold her until not a single tear would mar her face again. Alas, he stayed rooted to his spot amongst the flowers — whether due to fear or some other, hidden emotion.

Tifa was sobbing now — regret, fear, sadness, anger, and remorse all etched across her face like stars across the night sky. And if her emotions were the stars, her tears were the comets and meteors, heavy and heavenly as they fell from her eyes to the shoulder she found herself crying into. 

At first, Cloud stood erect, unsure what the correct course of action was in this situation. One one hand, his SOLDIER side kept him planted, unfeeling, suppressing his emotions as they bubbled to the surface. On the other, however, a stronger part of himself demanded he comfort the love of his life in her greatest hours of vulnerability.

Wrapping his arms tightly around her, Cloud buried his face into Tifa’s neck, keeping her shielded from Shinra or Sephiroth or anyone who dared try and hurt her again as she wailed, clutching at his sleep, his hip, the back of his head. No one will ever harm you here in my embrace.

Soon, wracking sobs gave way to soft whimpers and slight shakes, as Tifa finally began to stop crying. “Cloud, you’re hurting me.”

Cloud backed away with a quick jolt, concern written across his face at the prospect of hurting her. She merely smiled at him, however, and his shoulders relaxed as he realized she was uninjured.

“It’s stupid. I know crying is a waste of time.”

“That’s not true,” Cloud said firmly.

“Thank you,” she uttered, and Cloud swore he saw the universe reflected in her eyes.

_

The fifth came after a long period of strife, yearning, and separation, as Cloud faced his inner demons. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say.

Aerith’s church is just as in shambles as ever as Cloud engages Fenrir’s brakes, letting it roll to a complete stop. Since leaving Edge to live out the rest of his days at the church, Cloud had fallen into a bit of a ritual, letting his thoughts consume him as he unpacked the events of the day.  
Damn that Rufus Shinra. Damn that Kadaj and his crew. I can’t-- Cloud’s train of thought halted as he walked through the door. While he was used to the church’s natural wear and tear, things seemed...too broken. A pew was in splinters, surrounding a crater on the floor. The wall had more dents and cracks in it, as if something or someone had recently had a fight within the church.

Walking closer to the flower bed, head hung low, pants dragging the creaking floorboards, Cloud lazily examined the flower bed -- Aerith’s flower bed. The sun seemed to illuminate an object within, almost as if the planet itself wanted Cloud to find something. Wait. That’s--

“Tifa!” Cloud cried, bounding across the Stargazer Lilies as quickly as he could manage. Despite fighting a battle that day against Kadaj and his Remnants, coupled with his Stigma, Cloud’s urge to protect Tifa won the day against the protests of his body. 

Alarm bells singing in his head, Cloud scooped the unconscious Tifa into his arms, holding her close. A more rational Cloud would’ve been reminded of Nibelheim, how he held the love of his life as she fought to stay alive, to stay with him. Now, all he could focus on was making the bastard that did this pay. Nobody hurts my Tifa.

“Tifa!?” Cloud exclaimed in alarm, breathing increasing to a fever pitch, heart hammering in his chest. Tifa remained silent, unmoving, lifeless in his arms. She wasn’t stirring. She wasn’t stirring. She’s dead Cloud. It’s all your fault. You failed to protect her yet again, because you’re weak --

“...you’re late,” came a mumble from below, and Cloud felt sweet relief flood his chest. She’s alive. Thank Gaia she’s alive.

“Who did this?” Cloud’s voice was steel, unmoving.

“He didn’t say…”

Cloud said nothing, instead choosing to focus on the sound of Tifa’s soft breathing, the carmine coloring returning to her eyes, the feel of her heartbeat against his chest.

“Marlene!” Tifa shot awake, eyes widened in alarm. A quick scan around the room proved that both Marlene and his box of Materia were nowhere to be seen.

Tifa sunk back into his arms, too beaten and bruised to hold her head up. Cloud welcomed her, kept her close. This is how it should be. You, holding her, for all eternity. Yet, you’re too much of a coward to face her.

“Damn.” Cloud snarled, angry at the perpetrator, angry at the world, but, above all, angry at himself.

And then there was pain, sharp, stabbing, horrendous pain. Cloud’s skin seemed to drip from his body, creating a black ooze that sullied the pure gold of the flowers beneath. Damn this Geostigma. Damn you Sephiroth. 

He flashed through his mind, smirking and sadistic, surrounded by the fire he used to burn down Nibelheim. He laughed, and Cloud felt it ring in his ears, alter his consciousness.

All he registered afterwards was darkness, yet Tifa’s warmth next to him soothed his soul.

Reno and Rude stalked into the church, wanting to try and reason with Cloud again. What they found, however, were Cloud and Tifa, entwined with each other, blanketed by flowers. 

“They look so...peaceful,” Rude remarked, gazing down at the pair.

“Yeah, this is nothing like the Cloud from earlier. Fun’s over though, we need to get them back to Edge.”

Both Turks looked at each other, then the sleeping couple beneath them.

“I’ll...take Tifa.”

“You son of a--”

_

It’s cold. The wind has a certain bite to it, stirring up the golden petals below, swirling and dancing around Cloud.

Adjusting the collar of his tuxedo, Cloud sees the others are feeling it too - Reeve and Vincent are shivering slightly, huddled into themselves. Red is shaking, curling in on his lit tail. Cid is messing with his bowtie, trying (and failing) to refrain from swearing. He has a point though, it’s cold in here.

“Hey, babe?”

“Yeah, Zack?”

“You want to tone down the wind a bit, maybe? Wouldn’t want Cloud to get ‘cold feet’ on his big day.” Zack smirked, teasing the brunette beside him.

“For the record, your jokes aren’t funny.” Aerith shot him a matching smirk, lightly flicking him on the head. Zack chuckled, moving Aerith closer to him to plant a small kiss on her forehead. She hummed, content.

Suddenly, Marlene began her walk through the church doors, sprinkling flower petals wherever she went. Dressed in an adorable pink dress, she smiled bashfully at the many eyes on her. 

Cloud knew what this signified, and he felt his breath hitch. It was happening. It was finally happening. Gazing out into the crowd, he spotted a few familiar faces - Reno, Rude, Tseng, and Rufus, to name a few. The sight of all his friends calmed his nerves a bit (but, admittedly, not much).

The telling music of the bridal walk began, and Cloud felt his nerves double. He knew today was supposed to be the happiest day of his life, supposed to top the day where he dropped to one knee and she threw her arms around him in a resounding Yes!, but Cloud couldn’t stop some lingering anxieties from seeping in.

Which all dissipated the second he laid eyes on Tifa.

She was adorned in an absolutely gorgeous white dress -- one that accentuated her curves yet highlighted every facet of her unending beauty. And when she looked at him, red meeting blue-green, he saw love in her eyes as sparkling as the stars and as deep as the universe, and he knew his eyes reflected the same.

Tears streamed freely down his face, so enamored with her beauty that Cloud didn’t even notice the tell-tale signs of his emotions. Tifa cried too, gripping tightly on the arm of Barret. From the slight sniffling he heard all around, he knew his groomsmen and Yuffie to his far right were overcome with emotion as well.

When they arrived at the altar, Denzel queueing up at the far end of the church with the rings, Cloud finally allowed himself to breathe. And when Tifa smiled at him, he felt himself fall in love all over again.

“Take care of her, Cloud. You know she’s damn near the best thing to happen to you.” Barret smiled at the blonde-haired boy, also sniffling lightly.

“I will, I promise,” he said, looking directly at Tifa. “Always, and forever.”

Into each other’s arms they went, and in each other’s arms they stayed, bound together for eternity.


End file.
